There are a lot of reasons why, some personal, some not. A lot of life has gotten in the way of being here of course.
Here's the lowdown for you, the Cliff's notes version. My oldest son was diagnosed with Developmental Dyspraxia. Since he already had Tourette Syndrome, OCD, ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder, etc., etc., etc., it was a little confusing, but not too overwhelming.
Then my youngest was diagnosed with ASD. Which, apparently I was the only one who didn't see that diagnosis coming and it hit me pretty hard. Harder than I would like to admit.
Then after a living in Autism land for a while the family - including extended, decided as a group to have my oldest son tested. Not surprisingly, he tested out in what used to be known as Asperger's. And life with him, got harder and easier after that.
Shortly after, I went through a change in myself. After being diagnosed with Diabetes (which is genetic), they found out that I had metabolic syndrome. Which explained a lot, but not everything. A short time later, I found out that I had NAFLD (Non-alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease). My liver was inflamed and enlarged and had been causing me pain for quite some time. One doc swears it's NASH, another says it's not quite there yet. Either way, with my genetics, it's never good.
That discovery scared me, a lot. My father, who passed some years back died of congestive heart failure, but his liver was right behind. A raging alcoholic for many years, it had done his liver in. My mother, who is 30 years sober and clean this year, also has congestive heart failure and diabetes. Her kidneys are in the very beginning stages of failure and though no one's checked her liver, it's just kind of accepted that her liver probably isn't too good either.
That being said, over all she does quite well most of the time and most don't know that there is anything wrong. Though she has her days now and again.
Shortly after my liver diagnosis, I found myself pretty low. I looked around at my life and realized that though I'd thought I'd recovered fully from post partum depression from my youngest, I hadn't really come all the way out. Not to mention, life with two special needs boys, with various appointments, medications, therapies, etc. was not the calmest. My anxiety level was through the roof!
After a LONG look around at the mess I had my house in, the unorganized way I was living yet again, I made the jaunt into my doc's office.
This isn't something most like to admit, but lets face it. Life is messy, it's crazy and everyone today seems to be trying to be perfect. Newsflash - we're not! :) If no one talks about this, then it becomes misinformation, it becomes the elephant in the room. As bloggers, we kind of put our life out there for everyone to see. Life though, it's not always pretty pictures, perfect projects and tasty treats! I made a decision a long time ago, when my oldest son was first diagnosed that I would not try to hide behind pretend perfection. There was so much stigma involved with various diagnosis and misinformation, and I wanted to be honest with people, up front. So, that they can learn. My son could learn, as could I.
Not many people know this, but I am NOT a fan of Big Pharma - at all. I mean, I could stand on the nearest street corner soap box and lecture for an hour or more all the reasons that I don't like medications. That being said, I've also learned that sometimes you need a little help up. My children for example, are treated with various natural remedies (when I can afford them) and my oldest does take medication. My youngest, we're still trying to go the natural way with him though. So, I guess I walk the line, though my heart definitely is always leaning toward more natural ways to do things.
So, making that decision to walk into the doctor's office and say: I need help, was hard. Not just hard, but H. A. R. D.!!!!!
That being said....I've been on what we term "happy pills" for several months now and I feel like my old self. Which has been amazing. I've adjusted the way we run the house, because of my liver and we now do pretty much NO chemicals in our home. Which was a bit of an adjustment, but it's been a welcome one. We've since moved from our old place to this new one. We have routines, organization, peace, laughs, giggles, more space and more light in our lives.
So, with that long novel, I'm telling you that I will be blogging again. Maybe not quite regularly just yet, but keep your eyes open, because I've got a lot I want to share with you all. Turns out living completely chemical free is also VERY economical! ;)
For those of you who've stuck with me through the LONG absence, you are amazing! I hope you're all doing as good as we are.
